I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
