I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
