You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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