North Korea, Best Korea!
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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