We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
