Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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