Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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