ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
