He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
