I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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