You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
