So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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