just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
