We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
