So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Betty ford says i'm here all night
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
