Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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