i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
