Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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