I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
