If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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