Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
