His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
