i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
