this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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