So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
