remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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