Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
