I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
