Can i not drive my cunt home
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
