i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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