just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
