she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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