Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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