Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
