he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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