So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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