lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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