so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The struggles of a small town man whore
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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