Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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