My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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