Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
