found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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