i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
