she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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