My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
