Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
