I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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