i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
you never un-have a 4some
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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