she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize