Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
