i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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