She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize