hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
