maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
