cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
