Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Someone came in the potted fern
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
