Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
organizing the empties. That sober.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I did not marry a roomba.
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