she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Randomize
